Forgiveness Means You Have to Trust Them
“Just because you have forgiven someone doesn’t mean you have to trust them. If the offender has a track record of wronging others and has a blatant disregard for others’ welfare, you would be foolish to believe they won’t do it to you too.”
Biblical forgiveness: Ephesians 4:15 says, “Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ.”
Speak the truth in love to others. Tell others plainly that they have wronged you and the way in which they have done so. Don’t allow them to trick you into believing the offense is your fault. Do this in the hopes they will become more mature in the faith.
Myth 4: Forgiveness Means You Are a Doormat
Enabling is not the same as forgiveness. To forgive does not mean you allow someone to continue to hurt you over and over. Allowing this lessens your respect for yourself and degrades one of God’s prized creations-you!
Biblical Forgiveness: Establish and maintain clear boundaries between yourself and others. When someone offends you, be quick to forgive and slow anger.
“Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. “
If the offense continues, ask yourself if this person puts you or themselves first. If they put themselves first, be honest about the state of the relationship. If the offender refuses to repent, cut ties.
Forgiveness Means You Need to Have Them In Your Life
One of my favorite books of the Bible is the Song of Songs (Songs of Solomon). Chapter 3:1-4, describe the yearning heart of the young woman for her lover…she decided that she would leave her bed and roam the city to go searching for her lover, in all the surrounding areas. The profound statement she utters says it all, “I will search for the one I love.” My point, Christians do not need to have “little foxes” in their life. The little foxes are an example of the kinds of people who bring toxicity in our lives. Those who would keep us in abusive relationships through their vain deceptions. Let us do as the young woman did, seek the Lord with all our heart. He wants us to have positive and praying people in our lives and He is to be number ONE:
Stay as clear as possible of people who have a negative impact on your life. Forgive and love them (sometimes at a distance).
Biblical Forgiveness: Love your enemies. Pray for them. Ask the Lord to soften their heart and pray for reconciliation and restoration.
Final Take – (Romans 12:18) “ If it is possible,as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone.”
Jesus is the Answer
Psalm 46:10 says that followers of Christ should “Be still and know…God”. I submit that one of the things we should know about God is that He forgives us of sin-through His Son, Jesus Christ. It because He forgives us, we, born again Christians are commanded by God, “To forgive those who sin against us…” [Luke 11:4, NLT].
In her article, 7 Myths We Have About Forgiveness (And what Biblical Forgiveness Really Looks Like), Michelle Lazurez, shares some interesting information, that will hopefully help us better understand God’s command to be still and know what forgiveness is about. According to the Scriptures.
MYTH #1 – Forgiveness Equals Forgetting
People think that because they have forgiven someone, that they have to instantly forget the offense. But only God can do that.
Biblical forgiveness: Forgiving doesn’t mean we forget, just that we actively fight to surrender the hurt to God. Choose not to remember the offense or hold it against the persons. There is great freedom in this. You may still remember the act but pray that your heart will not hold any malice or anger when you remember it. The offender may already be living in a self-made prison of guilt and shame because of what they have done. The last thing you want to do is hold onto the keys of freedom.
“Be Still and Know…God” is a weekly publication of Joan Jackson of encouraging insight intended to enhance your walk in Christ.