Myth 7:  Forgiveness Means You Can Gossip

Do you know what she said to me today? We need to pray for her! Instead of talking directly to people and engaging in conflict, we talk about people by masking our gossip as a prayer request. But gossiping is wrong, just like the  original offense.  Jesus gives us a protocol in Matthew 18: 15-17 on addressing sin in others: “If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses’. If they still refuse to  listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to even listen to the church, treat then as you would a pagan or a tax collector.”

Gossiping is not included in that list. Don’t allow your words to sow seeds of dissension.

Biblical forgiveness:  The best piece of advice I ever heard about forgiveness is: you know you have forgiven someone when you stop talking about the offense in a negative light.

Myth 6:  Forgiveness Means You Wish for Justice

Is it possible the reason why dramas shows involving courts and police officers are still so popular is because we have an innate need for a sinner to receive justice? We want criminals to get a fair jail sentence and stop hurting innocent victims. It is the same in real life.  We may have forgiven a person, but when we see that person succeeding in life, do we secretly think life is not fair?  Don’t secretly hope that person fails in the future so it balances the fairness scale.

Biblical forgiveness:  The prodigal Son parable in Luke 15:11-32 is  a prime example of justice and grace.  The eldest brother wanted his prodigal brother to pay for all his wrongdoing. Yet the father extended a hand to rejoice and celebrate because the prodigal turned from his evil ways. Pray that the offender gives their life to Christ.  Let grace balance out the scales of justice.

Myth 5: Forgiveness Means You Can Forgive Halfheartedly

Forgiveness is often a process. If an offense is particularly heinous, it may take several attempts to actually rid your heart of the pain associated with it and free the offender from their wrongdoing. Merely saying you forgive, but not doing the hard work of surrendering the pain to Jesus does yourself and the offender a great disservice.

Biblical forgiveness: Ask the Holy Spirit to reveal any roots of bitterness or resentment that have taken root because of a wrongdoing that was not forgiven fully.  If the Holy Spirit reveals nothing, then  you know you have forgiven. If the Spirit  reveals a picture, word or vision of an offensive way, get rid of it quickly, so it does not take root.